The post that considers how all your favourite Christmas movie characters would deal with their finances.
I decided not to do the “have a frugal Christmas” type of post that would perhaps be a natural bedfellow to a FI blog. I’ve never actually been responsible for doing the Christmas food shop and I only ever buy presents for the three members of my immediate family, so I don’t have much to add on the frugal tips front. Instead I thought I’d keep things light and silly by considering how various Christmas film characters would deal with their finances.
Scrooge, A Christmas Carol
In some ways very on board with FI. He’s certainly frugal and could probably easily retire. But he’s a slave to work and clearly has the old “one more year” syndrome. Of course, this all changes when he becomes a sentimental, overgenerous sap. Now he’ll never retire as he’ll be constantly taken for a ride by all those random strangers he’s so keen to hand presents out to.
John McClane, Die Hard (yes it is a Christmas film)
Will probably retire early on a police medical pension thanks to all the bullet wounds/glass wounds/head wounds/internal organ damage from being close to large explosions. Will constantly grumble about how measly the police medical pension is.
Gave all his money to that nice Nigerian prince who needed help getting his family fortune back. He has no savings.
Jack Skellington, Nightmare Before Christmas
Managed to bankrupt his town with his latest hare-brained scheme and now has to deal with the townspeople’s anger that he continues to live in a mansion whilst they suffer the consequences.
Kevin McCallister, Home Alone
Given the size of that enormous dream house, Kevin’s parents probably had a trust fund set up for him. When he’s able to access it age 18, Kevin will promptly squander it all on drugs and partying to get over his abandonment issues.
Susan Walker, Miracle on 34th Street
Precocious Susan probably badgered her mother into setting up a Junior ISA (or the US equivalent) as soon as she could talk. As an adult she’ll prudently invest in Vanguard index funds.
George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
So he’s an almost-failed businessman, but people seem to like him and want to give him money so he’ll probably do ok. Although he’d definitely be one of these “I’ve got a wife and four kids to support, how the hell do you expect me to retire early” types.
Billy, Black Christmas
Billy doesn’t even have a bank account, much less an investment portfolio. But he steals food from the kitchen to survive and spends his days doing his favourite hobby: murdering people. Sounds like Billy’s living his dream life, to be honest.
Never gave a thought to his finances given he’s made of snow and wasn’t around long enough to make the most of compounding gains. Actually, it’s just too painful to keep thinking about. Moving swiftly on…
The man himself. Could teach Tim Ferriss of the 4-Hour Work Week a thing or two. Depending on the depiction of him, Santa is either immortal and will therefore literally never retire, or he’ll hand on the baton and live out his days on a sweet final salary pension.
Any other Christmas film character finances you can think of?